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Monday 19 May
....... have a curry with real friends is good. Could be my favorite pastime ......... but I have too many to say that.........interesting that the curry house in Romford had a big family with a table full of lager, wine and after they had champagne. The old east-enders would have been down the pub and downing the beer. Times have changed. Wine
now is normal with us most days. When I was in my first 20 years at home I never saw wine, even at Christmas. Then the treat was a bottle of sherry.
This week-end I have had only social events and church. Good for the spring to unwind and catch some extra sleep and jump into to exciting grooves. I am still a groove robber.Ordered new CD's .......I would rather burn CD's than people.
'dwele' (subject), 'victor duplaix' (internal affairs) and with my delight the new one by my favorite band from last year .....the cinematic orchestra (the man with the movie camera) got to get the grooves for our holidays .....hey hey
-pip- bhp
Sunday 18 May
.....watching Justin Timberlake on mtv and catching up on my e-mail backlog only because I have wifi and can use laptop anywhere, even in the garden. Read today that pubs are getting into wifi with airports, stations, planes and of course the world will follow. I like JT. I have the cd in my car "I just want to love you baby ......" He can sing and can dance boy!
Have you clocked the 'pearls' page on my website? Seen and read the pain and depth of the young humans who have allowed me to read their written work. You may have to move your curser over all the boxes of creative imaginative web design (thanx Charlie Jazzanova lova) .....and if you do this you will see you can click on even a little box of my
handwriting and get some 'life' ......sometimes not pleasant reading ....but great for the soul ......it refreshes mine .......... hey hey
Friday 16 May.
GROOVE ROBBER: dropping through the letter box .... don't ask me for the answer, I only have one, a man leaves the darkness when he follows the son .........yes the new cd by martyn joseph .....a man I love. He covers the Larry Norman track 'the great american novel' ........so NOW ! .....buy it.......buy it ....-bhp- Check out Davinah's fabulous writing again.....follow the Orange Room below..
Tuesday 13 May.
this is late night .....always is ........listening to 'jazzanova remixes' cd .....new blessings! I get them in stereo you know! Have experiences that stretch my soul .......people who are 'to die for' .........anyway that was the Jesus thought and did with a strategic act ......no messing ....one experience which is personal ......I had to have blood test and the wise old Doc ,I saw this week , said all was ok .......that is checking stuff I have never had checked ....ever ..... so I am still as hard as nails and tab free. I am pleased about that because my Dad died when I was 16/17 and when he was early 50's ..... and my Mother had to have both legs amputated in her 70's due to 'sugar' but never lost her 'spice' for life ......corny eh? ...
....I was at her bedside when she died. All her four sons, and it was great. I will post a pic of her on my website gallery and you will love her vibe!
Sunday 11 May.
Just home from a Greenbelt meeting ..for those off the planet. It is my spiritual home. The place where, as a battered inner city youth worker, I found direction, refreshment, inspiration, hope, passion, and a determination to follow the God road ......a place where I am reminded that He loves and loves and loves me. no conditions. no doubt inspired to serve .........that could be a good theme you know .....if it was rocked up a bit. Like........ inspired to hurt inspired to kick the darkness until it bleeds daylight inspired to work within a yard of hell instead of the chapel bell !! So the meeting ......proceeded by a starbuckes cafe with an angel ......no hotspot working free sad to say .........and after .....a pint with a heavenly host of greenbelt board members and theology weeping from our laughter and gritty banter. Tonight it was: -what if we moved gb to the mainline europe for one year? what about staying in the city and not doing an exodus like so many christians. So I end the day with a blog and a glass of COINTREAU....never any need to think what I want for a present ............and Gilles Peterson on internet radio ...'this revolution will not happen between these thighs' says sara jones as I listen to the best music outsidaheaven !!! so tomorrow I need to deliver a session and have not prepared yet ........with a group of bhp's who are still looking at me with caution .......... ok ! but ...a bit of .....'who is this guy who wants to
talk and 'do life' ........'what will I do eh? I have faith it will come out of the soul ..........so goodnight you beautifuls ......-bhp
Sunday 11 May: In Cornwall with the humans I love and am closest to. Joan, Joy, Ann ......a secret w/e planned by three for one called Joan for her special birthday. Joan and I have not been here since Joan was pregnant with Joy and she is 36 now ......I remember coming here and surfing on the amazing waves while Joan read on the beach ......... and we both discovered the delights of ice cream with clotted cream. A the same time I am in touch by text with the 40 people in Prague doing the crucial planning for the www.2003.eay.org event on August. I miss the team there and I belong with them ,and I am with them even though apart. They are my 'Liquid Church' ......a book I am reading at the moment. Our daughters give us a great time as they are so good to be with.
I respect them. Many other feelings. I have neglected them in the past BUT I have asked their forgiveness and they have said yes. Still in my soul I carry the pain of people I work with, this week, and it is good I carry them with me. Not as oppression but as an act of hope in human kind ......their development is driving my own ......and hope and faith and communication and love glands .............so ' the Hefner Remixes' cd ends my day as I laptop this. As always, more to say than I can type ........hope you are ok and trust that you too stretch yourself in communication with others and strive to live life to the full.
-live-life-in-wonder- -bhp-
Thursday 8 May.
.....such is one of those nights, when you don't know what to say here but will do it anyway. Have met today with SO many people who have had such major life disasters or some who are still there. I have been around a bit. My life spent with young offenders either in a community like the ymca or on the streets, in the pubs, away on week-ends or in clubs. I am now meeting and drinking in the pain of older people too. These SO much longer down the road of failure, hurt, recovery only to stumble again. What impresses me is their ability and reason. Their generosity from nothing themselves.Their strength in weakness even .....if they cannot manage their drink, or drugs or relationships.
I feel like I am learning every day. I feel like I will burst with compassion. I feel for the whole person I see and cry out for their souls to God. Lord have mercy. Tack change .......still listening to Pete Tong tape. The song which stick says "It is a spiritual thing, a body thing, a soul thing......" .....and they are singing about 'house music' ! I love it ! On Sunday I went to see three bands with the headliners being a Japanese girl punk band called 'ex girl' loved them. I saw them set up from so close. So professional, so determined and focus. Then they played so good .....two guitars and one on drums (she brilliant) ...and then they had fun. It was performance fun. They delivered a well contructed set. The sound of their voices was a bit strange and off the wall but I loved them.At Greenbelt we will have say 100 bands and 10 stages ....you can see how I love it .....but for much broader reasons too ! Joan week-end this year is special and the big six 'o' .......I married a much older woman !!! Me and the Sheilas are taking her away for a secret w/e ....hey hey. -bhp
Sunday 4 May. Here is a poem by Davinah Miranja Etienne from Welwyn YMCA....
Sunday 4 May.
Had a Pete Tong day today .......... fantasic music in ear plugs that are fine ....the best plugs ever with no noise pollution Joan says ......Sony something ......expense but small, in ear and pump it up baby! Normally I wear those clip around the ear ones .......I somehow get an irritation from in ear plasic ones and have had years of mattery ears and sore as hell ......now I am in music heaven. At the same time I have taken a cigar, thanx to the Sheilas and their travel jobs, and done some jobs. Fixed the fence fixed up a new garden double chair for ashtray, coffee,Economist, Muzik, Stuff and Third Way. Filing of months of journal, bills, moving job docs, and some of the loads of stuff from my last office ......will I ever be rescued from this ......Also sorted some videos for Prague (follow link below) and Greenbelt (follow link below) I have tons of U2 vids ....one is a so young band playing in Belfast when they were kids doing "I will follow" so fantastic. It will take mw months to sort through them .....help!!.....and all the time I have Pete Tong and it must then be heard in car and in home and will have to save for summer holiday too. Help ......does anyone have software knowledge so I can down load all this radio prog to hard disc the to iPod? Just playing a track singing ....."it's a spiritual thing ........" house music does this too me.T he ear plugs do not irratate .....hey hey.
Saturday 3 May 2003.
Having had a glorious birthday meal out a day late, I did a BBC Radio interview on the day, Joan then dragged me off to B&Q! One phrase came to mind, " I am a celebrity, get me out of here"
Have you seen the 'big brovaz' video called "my favourite things". I have been in the hum of it for days. I Like it, but (and the bit about the 'but' is always what follows the BUT) It talks about 'a girl GOT to have her favourite things' and 'diamonds and rubies' are the favourite things. This week I used the two vids, 'Sound of Music' alongside the other and asked 'what stands out'. It is all about values. The message in the old one is when you are down; think of your favourite things. They were 'whiskers on kittens' and 'flowers 'and things of nature! Good discussion ensued because the things that people shared as being really valuable, precious and favourite had no real value other than they were of real emotional and personal value to the individual.
"Advertising tantalizes the poor" it was said by Bishop David Shepherd. When we think beyond the 'thrown in your face stuff' to the couch potato population we exercise the deeper things - the things which give life do not throttle it so many people talk about 'money' ......pub, tube, train and places social. The poorest I work with don't seem to bother. There are other things!
-bhp-
Friday 2 May 2003.
I have discovered a free software which shows the cover of the CD which is playing on the computer in the scale of things it is a little pleasure in a life which both the scars and joys are to be lived. So a bottle of champagne given to me today for my birthday is well, well, well welcomed. Feel I have not blogged much this week but have had many vivid experiences - and always want to work them through and usually on paper. I can go back 30 years and see my notes from an evening of working with young people. Usually start with listing the feelings. Some major. Some which linger and need dragging out. Others about people who do not concern me but I have some puzzle in my soul about their behaviour. Or reaction. Or passiveness Or non-verbals to another human ,if not me. The new work is giving me new challenges. One is I drive or train away from the work and in that time I evaluate and by the time I get home I have 'done' and have not used the pen and paper and actually recorded those 'feelings' followed by 'thoughts' followed by 'action or options'. I need to get into new habits to get to those actions because otherwise, I will be going into the people work situation without a strategy and I am determined not to be reactive but proactive and strategic. I always have two words in a picture frame on my desk or within memory jog view which say:
-strategic
-priorities
Am I strange?
A few people bothered me this week. Got a couple of putdowns. Usually they are statements which start with the word "you......". It is a finger pointing word like 'should' and 'aught' . I never use those two words on principle. Also there are people who are warm and I want them to develop. I yearn that they can be warm with others of differing natures and personalities. To love the lovely is great. To love the unlovely is a real challenge to all of us in our development. hmmmmm .....I notice those I warm to, and others not as easy. So principles kick in.I am off. The fingers cannot keep up with the mind, but I love - lurve - the music playing so close as I type to you. -wish-you-wonder-
1 May 2003.
It is late night YMCA. New one, first night of new programme, dunkin donuts at the start, then discussion with a new group of people I had met informally. " I have never told anyone what I told you this afternoon" he said. " We had a good conversation today" she said. The core came to the first session, two just for the donuts dipped in hot chocolate - that is very OK. The rest opened up as if the climate of trust between us was much more than a fleeting exchange or two. It is encouraging (love it love it) I sidestep here in Paul Gleeson style, I found myself (if you don't mind me sharing this personal reflection) , saying in Church last Sunday ......love ya, love ya, love ya ......to God ......is this ok?
Well back to the evening. We talked honestly and deeply in a way which was a blessing to me and all. Someone is blanking me . Another one. A staff member. No relationship. But more strange because of that. I like to know why and don't. I like to understand. What behaviour is this?
Interesting that some of my greatest achievements with people have been with people who hated me?and actually told me. Yet somehow the project I led, the community I led was influential in working and developing that person, a sideswipe blessing, and I love it. So if I don't get on with some bhp, someone else will and the kingdom will come despite me.
Something minor compared with the above, yet significant in my life, is I have ordered as birthday present from Joan, a longed for iPod ! Yes a new iPod ! One of these is a apple/mac MP3 type player like a walkman ONLY it will carry my whole cd collection on holiday, on the train, linked to a sound system anywhere and AND has a capacity to hold 7500 tracks ! So I can go on holiday for a year and it will last that long. As a music lover I can say I will never need to buy anything ever again EVER - well -maybe an odd bottle of champagne or an odd pub lunch at the Green Man.
So my life is blessed by interactions which bless, .and there was a fight and I didn't mention it. These are the things I want to do (not stop the fight coz I hate that and have lived a life of doing that !). I Love the informal education/dynamic exchange between people and the learning by every damn one of us.
If you connect with this, these words that follow. Thank you to YOU for helping me recently - standing beside me - loving me - helping me to do things - accepting me - even at a distance I feel it, need it, love it. stay with me and forgive the lapse or two with the blogs and the absence of the promised e-news letter from the several desks of Pip Wilson.
- you are loved
- precious
- beautiful
- special
- a mysterious mixture of colour and uniqueness never put together before
Just gone wi fi. That means I can sit on the toilet with my laptop and do this or surf the web. Anywhere in the house and better, I can pick up the hotspots around the nation such as airports, stations, coffee houses and more, and get on line free and easy. I believe that planes are now providing 'in flight' wi fi so people can do their work/pleasure when in mid air.
Another reflection;
people want to talk about God as long it is not 'in ya face' oppression. Everyone has prayed ( have never met a person who has never prayed). I find people retain vivid movie pictures of every life experience in their lives and LOVE to share these if the climate is 'free'! God is in there too. Vivid images of Jesus or God. Often distorted through bad experiences. Often picture language following open questions. Fascinating discussions and human, beautiful self revelation has come out in recent days from the questions I asked i.e. what colour are you, the colour which describes your character and personality Then, as the sharing continues. What colour is God? Even if there is a preamble about not believing, out comes a perception of God. A picture of God - a feeling. Real feelings about the creator- love it, love it.